McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
