Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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