It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
