Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
