i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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