Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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