Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
MIDGETS
????
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
