just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
