apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We're too hungover to prance.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
