took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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