you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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