You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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