Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize