you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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