She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
someone owes me an orgasm
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
