Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
