Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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