You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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