I heard we made out
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
