I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
