if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
