What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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