remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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