do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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