Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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