dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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