Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
