The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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