Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize