hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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