Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
