First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
