So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
then he tried to convert me to islam
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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