absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
