Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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