tell your sister to shave her snatch
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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