Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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