the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
