Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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