Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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