she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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