I bet he comes in French.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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