I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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