Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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