Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
