he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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