so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
