I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
