you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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