Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize