um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
