Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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