we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
