is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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