He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
