oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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