Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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