first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
