protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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