thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
