I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
