dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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